Little steps can make a big difference to achieving those New Year's resolutions says leading York confidence coach
DO you need a little bit of help in realising your New Year's resolution? Perhaps you even need assistance in working out what it is about your life you need to change. Is there something stopping you achieving your dream? Or maybe you want to improve things at work, or at home, or perhaps live a more balanced or healthier lifestyle.
If you answered "yes" to any of the above, chances are you could benefit from the help of a confidence coach.
Jules Wyman, 44, is just such a person. She has been running her business, Positive Belief, for 11 years, working as a one-to-one coach and public speaker.
Based in York, she has clients locally as well as across the UK and the wider world, holding sessions over Skype.
She said: "Confidence is about trust. It comes from the Latin confidere, meaning trust. It is about trusting yourself. When we say we are lacking confidence, we are doubting ourselves, our abilities, and buying into old beliefs."
Jules' signature talk and workshop is titled The Truth About Confidence. She says people have misunderstandings around confidence, thinking it is to do with results, or competition, or being the life and soul of the party. "But it's about showing authenticity and allowing people to shine for who they are," she clarifies. Many people suffer from "imposter syndrome," she adds. "They feel they are going to be caught out. They never feel good enough; they are constantly striving for the next thing; they are not fulfilled but they don't know what is missing. This can manifest itself in feeling stressed, overworked or feeling overwhelmed. It can feel like a trap people have got themselves into."
Jules helps people work through their issues and build self esteem, which they can apply to all aspects of their lives.
She has produced an online package which people can access to help them improve their confidence. The TRUST System has five modules designed for people to work through at their own speed. The normal charge for the programme is £197, but from January 17-31, Jules runs an offer: pay what it's worth. Last year, she ran the same offer and some 150 enrolled, paying between £1 and the full £197.
Jules says January can be a particularly difficult time for people struggling with life problems and she wanted to do her bit to help.
"It's that time of year when people think they don't want another year like the one they have just had." She understands that credit card bills come in and the last thing people may be able to afford is to invest in some coaching to help them turn their lives around.
And she knows what it feels like to be broke and hitting rock bottom. Fifteen years ago she quit her career in theatre and had no direction. "I told myself I was a blot on the landscape and my life would be better if I didn't exist." She took an overdose – but luckily not enough to kill herself. She sought help from books and finally a coach. It so helped her on the road to recovery that she began going on courses and studying more – eventually setting up her own coaching business.
Her motivation is that no-one has to go through those dark days like she did all that time ago. And January is a good time to take that first step on the road to change.
"People want to make changes at the start of the calender year. The nights are darker and people have the time to reflect. They could literally sit and do the whole course over a weekend or take their time and do it for the rest of their lives. There is no time limit."
The course features a range of video and audio recordings in bite-size chunks covering subjects from truths and myths about confidence, relax into life, focus, moving away from stress and talking with confidence.
"It's for anybody who fancies a change of career, a lifestyle change in any shape or form, or have a sense that everything is overwhelming them, or perhaps if an opportunity comes their way they will avoid it or procrastinate rather than take it."
She adds: "I genuinely believe that anyone who wants to make a change can. I am a completely different person to who I was before. I've walked away from my marriage, lost four stone in weight, got out of debt, been on Breakfast TV and written a book."
Jules's three confidence tips for 2017
(1) Focus on what you have. Be grateful even if it is for being alive that day – many people haven't made it. Be thankful for the food you have, the roof you have over your head, be grateful for the small things. It is unfortunate because the brain tends to look at what's wrong, what's missing.
(2) Ask yourself if there was just one thing to change this year, what would it be? For example, if you are four or five stone overweight, think about changing one thing in your diet, make it possible to do.
(3) To make a change, ask "what CAN I do"? It might be, like me, you can't afford to to go to coaching. I borrowed books from the library. It's not about making big steps, it's about making consistent steps.
To find out more about The TRUST System programme, visit: juleswyman.com/trust_system_2017/