In the recent bad weather, we arrived at our favourite cafe for Saturday breakfast.

The flood barriers had become stuck over the entrance and the staff couldn’t remove them. My husband helped and finally the job was done.

I set out the tables and chairs, while the staff turned on the coffee machine and ovens. The fire was lit and soon we were able to eat a delicious breakfast.

All hands on deck, helping one another, during a time of exceptional weather. Community pulling together for the greater good, demonstrated all over the county, in the challenging weather conditions.

The following week we met with the usual early morning crowd. People were understanding about the previous week, except for one person who moaned and complained about the cafe opening late. They couldn’t have their breakfast exactly when they wanted it. Afterwards, it occurred to me that if

their attitude had been different, they could have helped too.

Taking the opportunity arising from a cancelled meeting, I went to the cinema to see Darkest Hour, with a mesmerising performance by Gary Oldman as Churchill. The venue is undergoing renovation and after the film I started to descend three flights of stairs with another woman. I commented on the

improvement of lighting and other decor. Unfortunately she didn’t have anything good to say and moaned all the way down to the foyer, where a light-hearted comment from me about the weather outside, was met with further negativity. I felt quite drained and thought that I wouldn’t like to spend

too much time in the woman’s company.

The subject of loneliness is mentioned regularly in the media. Circumstances can be difficult for many people, but there are those who do not help themselves by only complaining and speaking negatively. Sadly, this further alienates them, as friends, family and neighbours find being in their company

draining and difficult, so visits become less often and shorter. A vicious circle is set up and generally, blame is apportioned elsewhere.

A question we should all ask ourselves is: “Would I want to visit me and spend time in my company?” If not, can we change our attitude? The answer is “Yes!” and then enjoy a more helpful outcome.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your

attitude. Maya Angelou

Rita Leaman is a psychotherapist and writes as Alison R Russell

chasingrainbows.org.uk; alisonrussell275.blogspot.co.uk