LIKE everyone, I’ve been trying to get my head around the upcoming European referendum for some time now.

Taking a leaf from the Donald Trump playbook, both the Brexiteers and Bremainers seem to be issuing outlandish claims to worry the public into backing their cause, rather than presenting any concrete evidence.

Experts who use mathematics or facts to prove a point are shot down by two or three with flimsier arguments but noisier mouthpieces, until all you hear are the same old voices making fresh, silly statements.

So far we’ve heard that to remain in the EU is like siding with Hitler, that to leave the EU would start the Third World War, and that The Great Cthulhu, Sleeper of R’lyeh will be awakened and wreak bloody havoc and insanity on humankind whichever way the vote goes.

I’m paraphrasing here, but not by much.

Because of the conflicting arguments, I’ve been doing The Brexit Hokey Cokey for some time now, and while I *think* I know which way I’ll vote on June 23, I’ve already identified with most of the popular voter categories:

1) Those who believe scaremongering by politicians or news outlets, and will vote whichever way a redtop or broadsheet tells them to.

It’s basically the Jedi mind trick, backed up by unreliable evidence and followed by a colourful distraction: “BREXIT WILL CAUSE COLLAPSE OF M25! Rent-a-celeb in her pants, page 6”, or “BRUSSELS WILL SEND DEADLY SPIDERS TO QUEEN! Nigella’s new toast recipe, page 37”.

2) Those who will side with their favourite celebrity.

“Blimey, if that’s what Benedict Cumberbatch thinks is right, I should probably do that. He is Sherlock Holmes, after all.”

3) Those who tell you they’re voting in before you’ve even finished the question.

“It doesn’t cost as much as they say (it still costs a LOT), the benefits outweigh the costs (hmm), most immigrants come over here to do jobs our own unemployed can’t or won’t (hmm).”

4) Those who tell you they’re voting out before you’ve even finished the question.

“Let’s look after Great Britain, pull up the drawbridges and spend the money we give to Europe on hospitals (would be lovely, but can’t see it happening), the elderly and vulnerable (likewise), and the police (ditto).”

5) Those who seek out the opinions and statistics from financial and socio-political experts, and try to make up their own mind.

These are often as hard to find as the facts and accurate information about the referendum, and when they make their points in public (like the one Robert Peston made recently showing immigrants actually pay more into the system than they take out), they’re shot down and threatened by far-right noisepots, so get off radar pretty sharpish.

6) Those who won’t vote, because they “just don’t care”.

As much as you might hate the silly scaremongering, this last group are without doubt the worst of the bunch. You know them - they’re the ones who blindly complain about TV shows and films they haven’t seen, or rant endlessly about the quality of newspapers, mobile phones, televisions, etc, before proudly announcing that they never actually buy them.

They take pride in not voting, as if it’s a form of honourable protest - the Little Guy sticking it to The Man.

It’s not, it marks you out as someone who’s life could be altered by something which, if you and people like you had bothered to make a stand about, could have gone the other way.

Yes, it’s difficult to find accurate, honest information about what could happen if we leave or stay in the EU, and yes, it’s easy to get swept up with the tidal wave of nonsense.

No, I don’t have the answers, and yes, it’s absolutely fine to question both parties on their claims.

In or out, in five years time when The Great Dreamer and his minions have laid waste to the world and the last remnants of mankind cower under fallen national monuments, wouldn’t it be nice to know you at least made an educated guess?

That’s what it’s all about.