TO tip or not to tip?

That is the question I wrestle with in a variety of scenarios, from dining out to having my hair cut. Some people leave a tip as a goodwill gesture or a reward for good service, while for others it's an automatic add-on.

Where once tipping was left to our free will and discretion, it's now being taken increasingly out of our hands, and has created a new social pressure.

Often when it comes to paying a bill, there's a built-in calculator encouraging customers to leave a gratuity. We're expected to choose among various pre-set tips, enter another amount, or opt out. Of course if we opt out, even if we're planning to leave cash on the table instead, it's beyond awkward. We can feel the waitress's icy glare as the whole uncomfortable process of pressing "no tip" makes us so harassed, dithering and self conscious we've developed a twitch.

Having been a waitress, I usually tip in restaurants and cafes but if it's bad service, forget it. And how much are you supposed to tip a hairdresser? "Keep the change," I called, last time I was in a salon, even though it was over a fiver.

York Press:

In America, tipping is a practically a national sport. Earlier this year I went to New York, and to say that New Yorkers expect a tip is like saying that bears are quite partial to the woods.

On arrival at our hotel, we were told a porter would show us to our room. Before we could say: "We'll find it ourselves, thanks" a stony-faced porter appeared and grabbed our luggage. He wasn't in the first flush of youth, and must have weighed 20 stone, so by the time he'd dragged our bags out of the lift he was wheezing. We could've made it in half the time taking the stairs. He didn't utter a word until I asked where Times Square was, just to break the silence, and he mumbled: "Over there", vaguely pointing towards the fire escape.

Then came the awkward tipping moment. He stood in our room, gawping, until we discovered the lowest amount of cash we had was ten dollars, which he practically snatched off us. We should've have refused, since he didn't even say: "Welcome to New York", but tipping is simply expected over there, regardless of service.

Over our four-day trip we handed over at least $100 in a tipping frenzy to waiters, bar staff, and the borderline-aggressive driver taking us to the airport who repeatedly asked whether his tip was cash or card, despite a service charge being included in the pre-paid price.

"Here's a tip mate - learn some humility," I didn't say, handing over $20.