AS the great slow-motion election battle continues on its glacial and sluggish way, one thing is clear. For the Tories at least, the whole tortured campaign is based on one phrase.

There is nothing magical about the words used, although David Cameron and George Osborne certainly attempt to invest them with more conjuring puffery than a spell from a Harry Potter book.

The words have their roots in the last election, the one famed for its inconclusive outcome. As the coalition dust settled, you could hear an early variant being uttered at every available opportunity. Back then, the words uttered by every Government representative in every interview were: “It was Labour what done it.”

The ruse was simple: Blame Labour for every dent in the economic paintwork and just keep saying it. From those early days have emerged a different form of words, words to be heard almost whenever Mr Cameron opens his mouth.

The words have no magic on their own, but by careful application with a handy sledgehammer the Tories aim to get the message across. The words are “long-term economic plan” and we will hear more of this, much more, as the slo-mo head-to-head continues on its stately way.

These words will never be far from Mr Cameron’s lips, and never mind the thieving magpie distractions he is forced to indulge in as he feigns passionate belief in whatever is required of him at any given minute in the long day.

As we now know, that man will say just about anything on the cusp of a moment, spinning out a line on this or that. Or he will simply make policy up on the hoof, just because as prime minister he can, as happened on the morning after the Scottish independence vote. That was when he announced his “English Votes for English Laws” wheeze with all the long-planned thoughtfulness of a man with the back of an envelope still grasped in his sweaty hand.

Whether or not you buy the notion that the Government has sorted out everything in the economy is a matter of taste. But they think they have and, what’s more, they want to remind you that Labour can’t be trusted to grab the wheel back again.

Labour’s problem is that it never either owned up to any mistakes made on its watch or stuck up for itself for its own record. Labour never made the idea stick that it was the banks that caused the crisis, not its own free-spending wish to burn money for the fun of it. The trouble was, Labour had become blinded by the banks and in effect let them get away with risky behaviour.

Whichever version of this you prefer, the economy remains a bit of a dangerous vacuum for Labour. This is a shame in many ways, as Ed Miliband has interesting things to say about the need for “responsible capitalism” and why society should be fairer. He could also make a strong pro-business case for staying in Europe – something many people in business support.

But the accident-prone Mr Miliband, a man who seems to be waiting for the next lamp post to walk into, does face a hard sell on business, as last week’s anti-business battering from the usual suspect newspaper showed.

This week’s revelations about the Swiss arm of HSBC offering handy tips to wealthy customers about how to avoid paying tax should only remind us that people at the very top of the pile like to keep themselves there.

And in a telling piece of timing, this latest piece of unwholesome banking news emerged just as the Tories were holding their annual fundraising event at a five-star hotel in Mayfair, at which assorted hedge-fund bosses, investment bankers and the much-monied queued up to pay £1,500 a head to dine with the Tory cabinet.

Apparently one of the prizes being bid for was the chance to go shoe shopping with Home Secretary Theresa May.

Sadly, my invitation to the event appears to have been lost in the (privatised) post. Mind you, the company at table might have put me off swallowing a thing.

As for a “long-term economic plan,” some days I wish I had come up with one of those years ago. My finances could certainly do with a retrospective boost.