The questing entrepreneur, seeking to develop in Scotland, is
impressed by the professionalism of the ''this is the home of hi-tech''
type of advertisement that greets him at Glasgow Airport. He is a trifle
surprised but not unduly inconvenienced by the next notice he sees: ''We
regret that this Autobank is out of service.''
He wishes to test a link in the local commuter chain, so a friend
gives him a lift to Strathclyde Transport's Hyndland station, where the
electronic indicator is not working. He has to move quickly when a door
on the train fails to open. When he reaches Central station one of the
escalators is also hors de combat.
''Now to get the flavour of this city!'' He strolls along St Vincent
Place and is startled to note that it's much later than he thought. The
clock above Scottish Computer Services Ltd reads 12.05. Wryly he
reflects that a dead clock is dead on time twice every 24 hours.
There is more flavour to come. It is 10.30am and he is standing at the
junction of the Trongate and Argyle, Glassford, and Stockwell streets.
Calamity Clock Corner indeed, where rarely has tempus been seen to
fugit.
The far-off Tron clock checks neatly with his own watch. Hutchesons'
is three minutes slow. Elsewhere, time stands still. Above the Queensway
shop it is 2.20. Opposite, Dorothy Perkins proclaims 9.45. The clock
next to a Gordons sign reads 12.20. As for the double-sided ones,
Bremners displays 3.47 and some minutes after 4.00. Reardons shows 2.20
and 4.46; wonder of wonders, the 4.46 side seems to be inching
backwards.
So, too, is the enthusiasm of our questing entrepreneur. Machines that
remain long out of order reflect deplorably on the citizens who allow
them to be displayed.
Such shoddy and shabby demonstrations of disinterested inefficiency
should have no place in Glasgow at any time, let alone in the
approaching Year of Culture.
The memory of Grantchester Church clock standing at 10 to 3 brought
pleasure to the nostalgic Rupert Brooke, but he didn't have potential
new employers and investors in Scotland to win and impress. If we can't
keep our machines going we certainly won't have ''honey still for tea.''
We may not even have porridge for breakfast.
Robin MacLellan,
11 Beechwood Court,
Bearsden.
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